Badass Beards – Pete Falcone

1983 Fleer – Pete Falcone

I think Pete Falcone, starter/reliever extraordinaire, was just being modest by not letting his beard and his chest hair connect.  He easily could have let the neck hair grow out to let that happen, but he didn’t want to seem arrogant about it.  You can see that the beard wants to touch the chest hair, and the chest hair wants to touch the beard.  Pete Falcone, however, would have none of that.  He’d just let them tease each other from afar.

Too Cool for Cardboard – Bobby Bonilla

1992 Pinnacle – Bobby Bonilla Shades

There was a time in the early 1990’s when both Bobby Bonilla and the Oakley sunglasses he wore were both pretty damn cool, generating a great deal of want among young baseball fans everywhere.  We all wanted those shades, and we all wanted to be as cool as Bobby Bo.

Pinnacle, sensing an opportunity, did the unthinkable in 1992 and combined Bobby Bonilla and Oakley sunglasses into one magnificent package.  Words were not necessary.  In fact, the only words that were used on the card back were “Pinnacle Shades” and then “BOBBY BONILLA” in capital letters.  We all knew what was up.

1992 Pinnacle – Bobby Bonilla Shades (Back)

Between 1995 and 2001, Bonilla played for the Mets, Orioles, Marlins, Dodgers, Mets again, Braves and Cardinals as things slid downhill for him.  But we’ll always have 1992, Bobby.  We’ll always have 1992.

Too Cool for Cardboard – The 1993 New York Mets

1993 Upper Deck - Big Apple Power Switch

See what Upper Deck did here?  The New York Mets had a bunch of players in 1993 that were switch hitters as well as being fairly big names, so they made a card entitled “Big Apple Power Switch.”

Along with Eddie Murray, Howard Johnson, and Bobby Bonilla, the Metropolitans that year also boasted in their starting lineup a switch-hitting catcher in Todd Hundley, and a switch-hitting left fielder in Vince Coleman.  Hundley and Coleman obviously weren’t cool enough to be featured, but can you blame anyone for that?  Look how graceful Murray, Johnson and Bobby Bo look here.

How did that end up, you ask?  Well, they finished 59-103 that season in the midst of six losing seasons in a row.  So, not great.

Gary Carter, 1954-2012

1981 Donruss - Gary Carter

Tough loss for baseball today with the death of Gary Carter.  He’s remembered in a lot of places as a New York Met, and rightfully so, but for those of us in Canada, we’ll always think of him as a Montreal Expo.  In fact, he was such an Expo that the hometown on his baseball cards during those years was listed as Kirkland, Quebec, a Montreal suburb.  I wonder if he liked poutine and Labatt 50 too?  Thanks for all the great years.

Manly, Magical Mustaches – Kevin McReynolds

1990 Upper Deck - Kevin McReynolds

Kevin McReynolds’ career numbers were pretty damn consistent in the late 1980’s.  If I was that consistent, I’d probably try to grow a mustache too.

However, his mustache lacks the consistency of his offensive production, and kind of looks like a lot of weak, vaguely creepy mustaches I’m seeing around on this, the second week of Movember.

Good effort, bad result, McReynolds.

Too Cool for Cardboard – Keith Hernandez

1987 Topps - Keith Hernandez

One of the best Seinfeld episodes ever – and that’s saying a lot, there were some great ones – was an episode from Season Three called The Boyfriend.  Read about it at the A.V. Club.

Keith Hernandez was a star in that episode.  He was cool.  Evidence above: 1987 Topps.  Fresh off the 1986 World Series win, staring into the distance, grinning.  You can tell exactly what he’s thinking… “I’m Keith Hernandez.  I won the MVP in ’79, I can do whatever I want to.”

You’re right, Keith, you can.