Tag Archives: Minnesota Twins

Manly, Magical Mustaches – Danny Goodwin

29 Jun
1981 Donruss - Danny Goodwin

1981 Donruss – Danny Goodwin

So, a few weeks ago, Major League Baseball held its 2013 First Year Player Draft.  During that draft, Mark Appel was selected first overall by the Awful Houston Astros.  This took place after Appel was selected eighth overall by the Pittsburgh Pirates (currently the best team in baseball) in the 2012 First Year Player Draft, but did not sign with the team by the signing deadline.

Back in 1971, a ballplayer named Danny Goodwin was drafted first overall by the Chicago White Sox, but did not sign, and instead attended Southern University and A & M.  Then, in 1975, he was drafted first overall by the California Angels, who had been the Los Angeles Angels, and later became the Anaheim Angels, and then the Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim, due to a few ridiculous people who thought all of this made sense.  This makes Danny Goodwin the only player to ever be selected first overall twice in the MLB draft.

Unfortunately, despite being drafted first overall twice, Danny Goodwin’s career only amounted to 252 games, which is still a lot more than you or I will ever play in the Major Leagues.  Fortunately, Danny Goodwin’s career left baseball, America, the world, and, in fact, the universe, with one of the all-time greatest mustaches in the history of mustaches.  Nobody can fault the White Sox or the Angels for taking such a mustache with a #1 overall pick.  In fact, one might salute them for their selections.

Badass Beards – Jeff Reardon

7 Aug

1988 Topps - Jeff Reardon

Here at Sorting by Teams I pay a lot of attention to the mustache… and for good reason.  The mustache is an incredible thing, even though some people who have them shouldn’t be allowed near schools.

However, the beard is an often overlooked feature that deserves recognition of its own.  Hence, today’s new category, Badass Beards.

One of the best Badass Beards in history was Jeff Reardon.  I remember him during the 1992 World Series while playing for the Braves, talking about giving up the game winning hit to Candy Maldonado: “People say why’d you throw him another curveball?  Well, I threw him another curveball because he looked sick on the first two.”  I thought he might rip the reporter’s head off.

He looked that day like he did on 1988 Topps.  Angry.  Bearded.  Badass.

Names I Can’t Believe Aren’t Famous – Rusty Kuntz

14 Jul

1984 Topps - Rusty Kuntz

You’ve got to be kidding me.  Seriously.  I cannot believe that I didn’t know Rusty Kuntz existed for most of my life.

I feel like my entire childhood (and subsequent and ongoing immature adulthood) was wasted without the ability to say this name and not get in trouble.  In case you’re wondering, yes, I would have pronounced it that way and ignored anyone who told me was actually more like “Koontz.”

Imagine the possibilities that this name possesses.  I can picture it now:

A young boy on a car trip as a kid, say around 12 years old – old enough to know most of the key bad words but not old enough to say them in front of his parents.  He finds this magical piece of 1984 Topps cardboard glory in the binder on his lap, and he says to his folks, “hey, Mom and Dad, do you know anything about Rusty Kuntz?  Because I do!”

The parents inevitably then do one of two things.  Option one is that they immediately get angry at the boy for saying the C-word… er… K-word.  Option two, they look at each other in puzzled bewilderment, trying to figure out exactly what it was that the public school system had been teaching their child in health class last week.  They knew there was some new shit going down in sex ed teachings since they were young, but Rusty Kuntz?  That can’t be accurate… young people weren’t doing anything that could cause that, were they?  Maybe it’s just an expression…

I know that my parents would have taken option one and immediately scolded me for my use of the word.  But either reaction would have been worth it.  Well worth it.

For the record, Kuntz played parts of seven seasons in the Bigs, and got a World Series ring with the Tigers in 1984.  He also contributed a key RBI to that series win, although he never registered a postseason hit.  He now works as a coach with the Kansas City Royals.

Until a player comes along with the F-word for a name, this is the ultimate name for card collectors with maturity issues, and he deserves to be a legend.  Maybe Topps can include him somehow in their vast array of nostalgia one of these years.

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