1984 Topps - Greg Luzinski
At first glance, Greg Luzinski looks like a Dave Kingman type of player. He is big, rocked the old-school batting helmet, played in the “Artificial Turf and Overrated Power Stats” era, was questionable at best in the field, and struck out a lot.
However, a bit of a closer look at his nerd stats (see: Morrow, Brandon) shows that Luzinski actually holds up reasonably well as a valuable player, not just a long ball hitting goon.
The key difference here is that Dave Kingman did not have a beard, and Greg Luzinski’s beard was absolutely incredible – completely fitting for a man nicknamed “Bull.” It’s the kind of beard that separates men from boys and good from evil.
He was also on the cover of Sports Illustrated twice – once with the Phillies, and once with the White Sox. Both belong in a museum somewhere. Actually, maybe they already are.
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