Out of Place – Dave Stieb

1993 Upper Deck - Dave Stieb

Dave Stieb has already been featured a couple of times here at Sorting by Teams.  Get used to it.  Dave Stieb is fucking awesome and he will be featured again.  Be ready for it.

Right here, however, we have a weird moment on 1993 Upper Deck where Dave Stieb is shown pitching for the Chicago White Sox.  Trust me when I tell you, nobody wants to pitch for the Chicago White Sox.  People just don’t care.  Dave Stieb ended up pitching a total of 22.1 innings for them, and I’ll bet about eight people noticed.  He did not have good numbers there.

Little known fact: Stieb was signed by the Kansas City Royals for about 6 weeks after being released by Chicago early in the 1993 season. He never pitched for them, and even if he was going to, at least they wore blue.

Dave Stieb knew that going to Chicago and Kansas City was wrong too.  That’s why he went into hiding from that point until 1998, when he actually pitched pretty well over 19 games for the Blue Jays, posting a 1-2 record, 2 saves, and a 4.83 ERA.  It was a surprising comeback, but Dave Stieb was a Blue Jay and a Blue Jay alone.  We just got it, and we got him.

Too Cool for Cardboard – Dave Stieb

1987 Fleer - Dave Stieb

Leaning nonchalantly on the railing, staring off into the distance, smug smile on his face… Dave Stieb was definitely too cool for cardboard in 1987.

Can’t you just picture this guy coming up to you at a party and telling you how big a deal he is?  Or maybe he’d finish an interview by giving the camera a look, and then saying “I’m Dave Stieb?”

If you don’t get these references, even with the video clip hints, for the love of fuck, please watch Anchorman.  I feel like you just won’t get me until you do.

Haircuts I Wish I Could Pull Off – The Dave Stieb

1993 Topps - Dave Stieb

Stieb’s classic mullet was at its best late in his career.  Injured for much of 1992, he was but a bit player on the Blue Jays first World Series win that season – but he made up for it with the haircut.

Three aspects of the Dave Stieb Haircut come to mind when looking more closely at this 1993 Topps card.

1. Meticulously groomed on the sides – kept short for a maximum “business” look.
2. Also well groomed at the back, flowing out from under the cap.  Not just left to grow wild and out of control like Mitch Williams, this flow says “I could throw a no-hitter at you, bitch.”
3. Coupled perfectly with one of the best pitchers’ mustaches of all time.  Definitely one of the best combinations ever.  Glorious.