Cool Stuff I Wish I’d Bought in the 80’s – 1986 Fleer Collector’s Hat

1986 Fleer Wax Pack wrapper

“Hey Kids!  Show off your favorite cards with Fleer’s All Star Collector’s Hat!  Holds 8 of your favorite cards!  Only $2.95 plus 3 proofs of purchase.”

I cannot make this up.  It is a hat that you put your baseball cards in, and then wear around on your head.  Seriously.  In case you need further visual assistance, here is a larger image from the back of the rack pack that this wax pack came in… you can see exactly how it works.

1986 Fleer Rack Pack close-up

If one of these exists out there somewhere, I want it.  Someone must have thought this was a good idea and hung onto it for 25 years.

Also, if I ever get a time machine, 1986 is my first stop so I can pick one of these bad boys up.  Maybe Doc Brown will let me borrow his DeLorean, or even Bill and Ted’s phone booth, whatever I can get my hands on.

Cool Stuff I Wish I’d Bought in the 80’s – Topps Super Sports Lockers

1982 Topps Grocery Pack - Back

There’s no doubt that when it comes to sports card lockers, this one advertised on the back of 1982 Topps Grocery packs certainly is super.

Some highlights to consider when making this purchase:

–“Throw away the old “shoe box” to organize your entire Topps Sports Card collection in an exciting new way… all year long!” – This is important to note as prior to the sports card locker, one could only organize sports cards from April through September.  True story, look it up.

–“You also get team stickers for all major league Baseball, Basketball, NFL Football, and NHL Hockey teams.” – This blog is called Sorting by Teams, so this is cool.  There is no doubt that I would have loved this feature as a kid.  Hell, I’d love it now.

–“Convenient carrying handle and snap-close lock makes it easy to take your whole collection to those “big trade” get-togethers.” – 1982 was obviously a lot more fun than 2010.

This would have cost $5.75 plus $0.75 shipping in 1982.  According to the inflation calculator from the United States Department of Labor, this would be $13.01 plus $1.70 shipping in 2010.  I think all of us who use eBay and other online ordering services can agree from this that shipping costs have gone up substantially higher than the inflation rate in the last 28 years.

If there is a way to buy one of these lockers (with team stickers, of course) for $13.01, I will pay current shipping rates.  If anyone out there has one, send a photo my way… I’d love to be able to post it here.  I don’t think Sorting by Teams will ever be complete without one.

Cool Stuff I Wish I’d Bought in the 80′s – Topps Furrball(tm) Baseball Caps

1988 Topps Company Store Card (Furrball Caps)

In a previous post, I discussed the Topps sweatshirts that you could buy from the Topps Company Store, advertised on cards inserted into packs of 1988 Topps.  General consensus was that yes, I would have purchased any one (or all) of these sweatshirts and worn them with pride.  I was that nerdy of a kid, and the shirts were awesome.

However, it is debatable as to whether my awkwardness as a child would have pushed me to want to purchase the Topps Furrball Baseball Cap, available through the same Company Store and advertised in ’88 Topps.  (Note: it appears that “Furrball” was actually trademarked.  A quick Google search, surprisingly, yields very little… guess it didn’t catch on).

The goal of the product was that not only could you have an awesome trucker-style baseball cap – obviously lined with foam, as everything cool was back then – but also a convenient place to store a furry plush baseball – right on the cap! You could store the ball on any – any! – of the blue panels.

It seems that back in 1988, a lot of random games of catch broke out, using a furry plush baseball.  Imagine your embarrassment, walking down the street, seeing a game of catch going on, but not being able to participate, because you didn’t have your trusty cap and ball.  Peer pressure is a bitch, and your social life probably never would have recovered.  Best just to buy a damn hat.

I want to know how many of these were actually sold, and if photos of kids wearing these caps exist.  Also, who would get mail sent to PO Box 3070, Westbury NY 11592 now?  Do I dare try?

Cool Stuff I Wish I’d Bought in the 80′s – Topps Sweatshirts

1988 Topps Company Store Card

Not only was 1988 Topps one of the best baseball sets ever, they also contained Topps Company Store cards with… prepare yourself… special offers.  The fact is, I probably not only wanted one of these sweatshirts as a kid, I would have worn it constantly.  My mother would have had to wrestle it off of me on laundry day.  I would have been the coolest kid in school.

Now, looking back, I’m torn.  I don’t know which shirt I would have requested when I sent my $19.95 plus $1.50 ($1.50!) shipping to Westbury, NY.

I’d say I’m leaning towards the “All-Star Card Collector” shirt at the bottom right (Style A), because, really, who doesn’t want to be acknowledged for their All-Star status in puffy-lettered sweatshirt printing?  That said, the word trickery shenanigans with Style C are pretty impressive.  That shirt not only has “TOPPS” printed on it five times, it also says TOPPS in diagonal, using letters from the other five words, except IN COLOUR!

If you’re paying attention, you will see that I spelled colour with a “u,” which is one of the key indicators of Canadianness, like an accent that makes me sound slow or the ability to comprehend Fahrenheit and Celsius at the same time.  I feel like I’m reliving the disappointment of my childhood, realizing that this offer is good in the USA only, while I am stuck in cold, Topps sweatshirt-less Canada.  Maybe O-Pee-Chee has something similar but bilingual that I can buy?