Too Cool for Cardboard – Steve Balboni

1987 Fleer – Steve Balboni

I dare you to look at this picture and tell me that Steve Balboni wasn’t cool as hell.  Seriously.  He’s holding three bats.  THREE.  He’s also rocking a sick mustache and just wearing the shit out of that baby blue jersey.  Beat that, fools!

Interesting fact about Steve Balboni: he led various minor leagues in home runs in 1979, 1980, 1981, 1982, and then, after his Major League career stubbornly interrupted the streak, again in 1992 and 1993.

Also, he struck out 166 times in 1985.  This means that if batting average was calculated using strikeouts instead of hits (it’s not), he would have batted .277 in 1985 instead of .243.  If only, Steve Balboni.  If only.

Too Cool for Cardboard – Dave Stieb

1987 Fleer - Dave Stieb

Leaning nonchalantly on the railing, staring off into the distance, smug smile on his face… Dave Stieb was definitely too cool for cardboard in 1987.

Can’t you just picture this guy coming up to you at a party and telling you how big a deal he is?  Or maybe he’d finish an interview by giving the camera a look, and then saying “I’m Dave Stieb?”

If you don’t get these references, even with the video clip hints, for the love of fuck, please watch Anchorman.  I feel like you just won’t get me until you do.

Fantastic Fashions – Montreal Expos Logo

1987 Fleer - Vance Law

I never understood this logo as a kid.  I always thought it was a J and a B together, and I could never figure out why that made sense for “Montreal Expos.”  Was it in French, maybe “joueurs de baseball?”

The best explanation I’ve found comes from the FAQ section at Uni Watch, which is a great site to check out if you’re OCD about shit like this… here it is:

What’s the Expos’ logo supposed to be?

Actually, there are two separate interpretations — one in English and one in French. English version: The overall outline of the logo is a stylized “M” for “Montreal” (you kinda have to squint to see this). The red “e” on the left is for “Expos,” and the blue “b” on the right is for “baseball.” Add it all up and you’ve got “Montreal Expos baseball.” The strip of white next to the “e” is essentially just wasted space — it’s not an “l” or anything like that. French version: The red symbol on the left is a “c,” which combines with the white strip to form a “d.” Toss in the “b” on the right and outlined “m” and you’ve got c-d-b-m, for Club de Baseball Montreal.

There you go.

Thanks, Vance Law, compliments of 1987 Fleer, for serving as our Expos model today.

Fantastic Fashions – Mike Schmidt

1987 Fleer - Mike Schmidt - All Star

This Philadelphia Phillies jersey zips up.

Let me repeat this for you.  It has a zipper on the front.  Not buttons, and it is not a pullover.  It has a fucking zipper.

It is also baby blue, and is being worn by Mike Schmidt on a super cool looking 1987 Fleer All-Star card.

Nothing else needs to be said.  Absolutely awesome.