Newsworthy – Ozzie Guillen

1987 Donruss - Ozzie Guillen

Ozzie Guillen said a lot of funny things.  If you are not very smart and therefore don’t believe me, read this and you will understand.

Yesterday, he quit – er, was released from his contract – as Manager of the Chicago White Sox.  Asked why, he said:

“Life is about money. People don’t believe that, but people are happy after they make money. I have to make money out of somewhere. I’m not a doctor or a lawyer, where you’ll have a job for the rest of your life.”

Ozzie Guillen earned over $23 million dollars during his career as a professional baseball player, and was reportedly to be paid two million dollars by Chicago in 2012 as their Manager.

So… Ozzie Guillen made a lot of normal people feel like dicks yesterday.

Manly, Magical Mustaches – Tom Brookens

1987 Donruss - Tom Brookens

Tom Brookens played in the Majors for 12 years, but the mark that his mustache left on professional baseball will last a lifetime.

Brookens’ mustache was thick and dark.  It hooked around his mouth, teasing into the beginnings of a Fu Manchu, but then stopped there before things got too crazy.

The mustache wasn’t a showman, but was a show in itself without having to work too hard, kind of like Brookens himself.  He played the majority of his games at third base, but also spent a decent amount of time at second and short, and even caught five innings once.

Now a First Base Coach for the Tigers, Brookens still has the mustache.  Although the colour is now a shade of grey, the spirit remains.

Names I Can’t Believe Aren’t Famous – Karl Best

1987 Donruss - Karl Best

Karl Best was not the best.  In fact, he wasn’t really even one of the best.  Wikipedia tells us that his best MLB appearance ever was 4 2/3 innings of scoreless relief during a 14-1 loss to the Minnesota Twins.  Give the guy a break though… that’s a tough name to live up to.  Did you ever pitch in the majors?  No?  Then shut up.

Manly, Magical Mustaches – Dwight Evans

1987 Donruss - Dwight Evans

Sometimes, in posed photos, ballplayers smile for the camera.  Sometimes, they just sit there reluctantly.  Sometimes, they are Dwight Evans on 1987 Donruss and they look like they’re going to jump off the cardboard and beat the shit out of you.

That is a mean looking scowl.  I credit the mustache.

Manly, Magical Mustaches – Drew Hall

1987 Donruss - Drew Hall

This is the antithesis of the thick, beautiful mustaches of the 1980’s.  I get the feeling that Drew is really, really trying here.  He wanted to come into camp looking like a grizzled vet.  It didn’t work.

However, Drew, there is a consolation prize: being included among the great Manly, Magical Mustaches honoured here at Sorting by Teams.  Congratulations.

Newsworthy – 2011 Spring Training Opens

Spring Training.  I love this shit.  Let’s let 1987 Donruss introduce us to the start of the 2011 MLB season.

It’s time for teams around the league to have some badly posed photos taken, showing off their spring surroundings in the background.  (Look! Palm trees!)

1987 Donruss - Chuck Cary

1987 Donruss - Mickey Brantley

Let’s also not forget the action photos, meant to look like in-season games, but really showing off the colourful spring threads… and were those colours ever outstanding in the 80’s.  I miss you, baby blue.

1987 Donruss - Rob Nelson

1987 Donruss - Tom Henke

What a beautiful time of year.