Fantastic Fashions – the Chicago White Sox

If you didn’t watch baseball before 1991, when they switched to the classic black, white and silver that they wear today – one of the best uniforms in baseball – you wouldn’t be aware that for a long time, the Chicago White Sox had awful, horrible uniforms and were a gimmick-ridden club that never won anything.

At various times, they tried several combinations of black, blue and even bright red.  They had pinstriped uniforms, and then they removed the pinstripes, and then they brought the pinstripes back.  Their “sox” weren’t even white for the  longest time.  In 1976, they even tried wearing shorts.  Yes, shorts.  In baseball.  In the Major Leagues.  True story.  Some pretty good players play in the Major Leagues, they say it’s the best baseball in the world.

Basically, they were a colossal clusterfuck of baseball fashion.

Today, we are going to highlight their uniforms from the late 1970’s into the early 1980’s, and then the last design they wore throughout the majority of the 1980’s.

Highlights of the late 1970’s-early 1980’s, modeled for us here on 1982 Topps by pitcher Steve Trout:

1982 Topps - Steve Trout

-Vintage jerseys, before vintage was cool.  In fact, at this time, vintage was decidedly uncool.  Have you seen the multicoloured polyester crap MLB teams wore during that time, mostly in football stadiums with artificial turf?
-Untucked jersey.  That’s right.  Untucked.  Like pajamas.
-Big, fat, 1970’s collars.
-Don’t forget, they wore fucking shorts with these uniforms once.

Highlights of the rest of the 1980’s, modeled for us on 1983 Topps by outfielder Rudy Law:

1983 Topps - Rudy Law

-Big thick stripes on the sleeves.
-Big thick stripes housing the logo on the front.
-A number on the elastic-waist pants.
-General confusion with hockey jerseys.

Things are much better for the White Sox now, but they certainly stood out among the worst in a bad era of fashion for baseball.

Names I Can’t Believe Aren’t Famous – Bake McBride

1982 Topps - Bake McBride

I think if your first name is Bake, even if it’s a nickname, you have to have unbelievable hair like this.

Two further reasons this name should be famous – both of these factoids were taken from Wikipedia, so they have to be true.  Wikipedia is like the Bible of the 21^st century:

1. Bake’s nephew Joe McBride is a jazz keyboardist and singer.
2. His grandson Ryan “The Bear” McBride played banjo and buckets in the band “Hilltop.”

Seriously.  You can’t make this shit up.  Well, someone might have, but I’m posting it as fact.

Cool Stuff I Wish I’d Bought in the 80’s – Topps Super Sports Lockers

1982 Topps Grocery Pack - Back

There’s no doubt that when it comes to sports card lockers, this one advertised on the back of 1982 Topps Grocery packs certainly is super.

Some highlights to consider when making this purchase:

–“Throw away the old “shoe box” to organize your entire Topps Sports Card collection in an exciting new way… all year long!” – This is important to note as prior to the sports card locker, one could only organize sports cards from April through September.  True story, look it up.

–“You also get team stickers for all major league Baseball, Basketball, NFL Football, and NHL Hockey teams.” – This blog is called Sorting by Teams, so this is cool.  There is no doubt that I would have loved this feature as a kid.  Hell, I’d love it now.

–“Convenient carrying handle and snap-close lock makes it easy to take your whole collection to those “big trade” get-togethers.” – 1982 was obviously a lot more fun than 2010.

This would have cost $5.75 plus $0.75 shipping in 1982.  According to the inflation calculator from the United States Department of Labor, this would be $13.01 plus $1.70 shipping in 2010.  I think all of us who use eBay and other online ordering services can agree from this that shipping costs have gone up substantially higher than the inflation rate in the last 28 years.

If there is a way to buy one of these lockers (with team stickers, of course) for $13.01, I will pay current shipping rates.  If anyone out there has one, send a photo my way… I’d love to be able to post it here.  I don’t think Sorting by Teams will ever be complete without one.

Haircuts I Wish I Could Pull Off – The Afro, Tony Scott Edition

1982 Topps - Tony Scott

For a guy drafted in the 71^st round (1969, Montreal Expos), Tony Scott had a good career, playing 991 games in the Majors.

I credit the haircut.  That.  Thing.  Is.  Awesome.

That is all.