Fantastic Fashions – John Slaney

28 Jan
1990-91 Upper Deck - John Slaney

1990-91 Upper Deck – John Slaney

At the NHL draft, when a player’s name is called by his new team, he takes the stage and is given a new hat and a jersey for his first NHL photo opportunity.  This photo opportunity usually takes place with the team’s owner, the general manager, head coach, someone’s kid, and a couple of other people who I’m sure do a hell of a job for the team.

Usually, the player takes a moment to try to make himself look presentable.  Other times, like at the 1990 NHL Draft, players like John Slaney decide that the best way to wear a bad hat is to perch it atop a bad bowl haircut as awkwardly as possible.  In Slaney’s case, he obviously followed three key rules to draft headwear:

1. Ensure the hat is worn as loosely as possible and make zero effort whatsoever to resize it.
2. Ensure the team’s logo is almost impossible to see on the hat due to the upward angle of the brim.
3. Ensure that everyone knows you cut your own hair with a pair of lefthanded scissors (you know, the ones with the green handles.  Come on.)

Now, I think Slaney is owed a bit of a break on this one – but for one reason and one reason only: his winning goal against the USSR in the 1991 World Junior tournament (see goal #6 on the linked video). Come to think of it, how much shit does John Slaney get away with in life for scoring that goal?  I’m not saying he shouldn’t, just asking.  If I scored that goal, I’d want some mulligans too.

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