Barry Larkin did not have a mustache. He does not have a name like Razor Shines or Rusty Kuntz. There was never anything spectactular about his haircut. Even if he grew a beard (and since he played for the Reds, he couldn’t), it could never have made him look badass. Yet, somehow, despite all these glaring shortcomings, Barry Larkin is now a member of the Baseball Hall of Fame.
I wish the BBWAA would contact me when they are doing their annual voting. I would help point them in the proper direction. For example, Jack Morris had a fantastic mustache, and Lee Smith’s beard still haunts my dreams to this day. Also, Fred McGriff’s nickname was Crime Dog. Crime Dog. These things need to be considered much more carefully.